Basic Divorce Facts for Parents

Basic Divorce Facts for Parents

  1. Parents are the people who should make decisions affecting their children.

  2. Courts were never designed to solve family problems.

  3. Decisions based on the true best interests of your children will ultimately be the best decisions for the parents also.

  4. Parents divorce for two basic reasons: lack of commitment and lack of skills*.

  5. Maintaining commitment is easier when both parents have skills.

  6. No one is born with skills; all skills must be learned.

  7. Skills taught by the traditional models in the world at large do not work. These skills are based on protection, superiority, control, revenge, and discouragement.

  8. Skills that work are based on social equality, self-respect, respect for others, personal responsibility and courage.

  9. Everyone can learn. Everyone can change.

  10. Follow these principles when making decisions:

*Skills here include relationship building skills between adults and between adults and children. See Faber and Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk; and Markman, Stanley and Blumberg, Fighting for Your Marriage.

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Glenna O. Auxier


Robert J. Perchalski, Ph.D.
Curriculum Coordinator

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