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Basic Divorce Facts for Parents
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Basic Divorce Facts for Parents
Parents are the people who should make decisions
affecting their children.
Courts were never designed to solve family problems.
Decisions based on the true best
interests of your children will ultimately be the best
decisions for the parents also.
Parents divorce for two basic reasons:
lack of commitment and lack of skills*.
Maintaining commitment is easier when
both parents have skills.
No one is born with skills; all skills
must be learned.
Skills taught by the traditional
models in the world at large do not work. These skills
are based on protection, superiority, control, revenge,
and discouragement.
Skills that work are based on social
equality, self-respect, respect for others, personal
responsibility and courage.
Everyone can learn. Everyone can
change.
Follow these principles when making
decisions:
minimize loss
maximize time children spend with
each parent
be consistent with young children
build in flexibility as children
grow
a parent who is involved in
ongoing decision-making and care of children is less
likely to drop out of their lives
*Skills here include relationship building skills between
adults and between adults and children. See Faber and Mazlish,
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will
Talk; and Markman,
Stanley and Blumberg, Fighting for Your Marriage.
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Glenna O. Auxier
Director
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Robert J.
Perchalski, Ph.D.
Curriculum Coordinator
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